I remember when I was around 8 me and my sister first created a blog on blog.com. At least I think that’s what the website was called it’s been quite a while. The process was interesting and finding things to write about brought me a lot of joy in my day to day life.

Recently I watched a video on YouTube where someone was looking through a bunch of people’s personal websites/blogs and I thought man that sounds like fun I should do something like that…

Especially as recently, living here in Armenia and having very little to do with my time aside from drink and read books I’ve been feeling a lack of motivation and creativity to do much of anything. I’m not great at composing music or drawing and I frankly don’t find the activities to have much personal enjoyment. And don’t get me started on writing fiction 🙁 But I still consider myself a creative person even if I don’t fit into the typical modus operands.

Creativity is hard. I don’t know how common of a feeling it is outside of my friend group but there’s this issue with production versus consumption. I love media and I love consuming stories and games and activities. I live for my hobbies and focus on them above most else. This leads me to feel like I don’t really make things.

It used to be that I would be creative through planning worlds and adventures for my DND players. I had this huge world (might do a post on some of it at some point) and I was running multiple campaigns set in this world with interlocking parts. It was awesome I’d make maps and tie stories together. Incorporate creativity from my friends into my world full of tropes and references I loved from books. But when I moved to Armenia I could only play online. And I did for a bit, these maps are actually from that campaign and a big boss fight against this crazy bee eugenicist from an alternate dimension.

But at the end of the day I couldn’t keep it up. The online format really saps out a lot of the motivation for me to continue. Combine that with normal depression around making things and rotting and I couldn’t continue.

So I thought hey, fuck it, let’s try building a website. That’s a form of production even if it’s just centered around my hobbies. I can make it look all cool. Talk about my interests in various subjects and fields and generally treat it as a void I can scream into.

So yeah, here’s the website! Welcome to my basement, look around, don’t freak out, and you know be chill. Coolio o7